I Don't Live On A Tree. And I'm Sarawakian

WARNING!: This is an indirect response to Hani Tarmizi. Sense of humor required. Close this page if you are not tolerant of dark jokes. Readers' discretion advised.

I guess some or maybe all of you were tagged in this pic in Facebook lately:

For those not fluent in the slang, here's a summary:

Hani Tarmizi despises a Sarawakian girl for flirting with with her husband. Then she summed up that MOST Sarawakian girls live in jungles, ulu-ulu area, and are bitchy and overall slutty.
NOTE: Her husband is from Limbang, Sarawak (unconfirmed, but oh the irony) and some speculated he may be the one flirting with the Sarawakian girl.

Well Ms Hani, sukacitanya dimaklumkan bahawa you should Google Earth Sarawak and take note of all the tiny cities or 'hutan' dotting the coast and around the Rejang Basin. It is also recommended you fly over here, choose between Kuching, Sibu, Bintulu or Miri, to see those 'hutan' for yourselves. Do not worry as you will be welcomed at the airport by an angry mob eager to show you around the place. In addition I personally advice you and your husband talk or see a counselor as a male who is susceptible to flirting (layan the flirters) is a symptom of an unfaithful relationship.

If you are unable to do all the above, I will be pleased to show you around online right here without requiring you to leave your husband before he fall prey to more bitchy Sarawakian girls.

#1 We live on trees.
I'm not sure how this started, but rest assured we have modernized as much as our Western brothers and sisters, like you. We Sarawakians do not live in the jungle on towering trees like you do because we are not that rich. Instead we live in 1-2 storey high mansions or any other homey abode of our own we can call home. It is more comfortable and less mafan than living in concrete trees 10-50 storeys high. And yes we have ASTRO and internet here :)

A Navi named Kel expresses his opinion on the statement.

#2 Sarawakian females are bitchy and slutty

In the dictionary it says;
Bitchy: –adjective, bitch⋅i⋅er, bitch⋅i⋅est.
Slang. characteristic of a bitch; spiteful; malicious
Slut: –noun
1. a dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.
(Source: dictionary.reference.com)

Bitchy? Got meh? Maybe the malicious ones lah like the ones you can see amongst Sarawakian school girls. They're just aggressive and won't let others step on their heads e.g. dudes and bitches. Like you calling them bitchy of course lah they become malicious and give you a bitch-slap for that (see picture, that'll be you bitch-slapped if you say such thing to a Sarawakian girl, or anywhere else). But definitely they are NOT bitchy (lewd).

Slutty? Wow the last time I check my mom and my friends moms are all of pure women. The only men they were involved in courtship with were our dads time zaman agogo dulu-dulu. The same thing goes to my female Sarawakian friends. Instead of being slutty, most of them are completely the opposite. I can assure you menghina most perempuan here having the two characteristics is baseless, because most of the females I know here in Sarawak are humble, does not bite unless provoked and speaks better English and BM baku.

I don't live on a tree. And I'm Sarawakian.