Viva la Vida la Libido

Think only girls have mood swings? Most guys do, except theirs are inconsistent. Some may have their swings once in two months, once a year or maybe daily. But their mood swings don’t start with the need to purchase Kotex. Rather, they only change in terms of moods and things they do. In my case mine is once a month, with testosterone raging thru mid-month that allows me to do crazy shit; like giving a talk about cancer to a crowd of 1,000, or making a bold statement about the relationship between vegetarians and global warming, or simply go all out blaring at a typical 20% group presentation. So from what I’ve experienced so far I can conclude that this mood swing is the actual thing people keep referring to as ‘balls’ e.g. “You chickened out in front of the girl? Oh damn you got no balls!” or “Wow Siaw Kang, you talked! You got lenggengs!”

Like I mentioned different dudes have different testo-rage period. Mine looks like the graph below. The green line is quite often what happened to me after the rage period, with me hyping up stuff and then return back to normal the next few days. And rarely, I got the red line where I got all fired up only to have a nasty downed pike where I get all -____- and stuff, mostly because I’ve used up all the fuel.

After 3 months of observations, below are notable symptoms of a testosterone-fueled boy;

1. Impervious to pain
2. Inconsistent Hunger (One minute you’re extremely hungry, the next you’re not. Related to the pain-immunity attribute of #1 Hunger is pain so the hormone rage cancels it out)
3. Tendency to do extreme things (like sprawling on a Kancil’s hood while it goes around a roundabout at 12Kmph)
4. Random pulses (1-2 pulses each time) that occur at random parts of the body
5. Indifferent emotion/No mood expression (Related to #1 Since can’t feel anything can’t express it. Also leads to #3 and occasional ‘Muka tidak malu’ or thick-faced attitude)
6. Increased attention
7. Muffled hearing
8. Increased multitasking capabilities (Related to #3 and #6)
9. Contrast vision (increased focus rate, everything seems sharpened and clear)
10. Thickening of tongue’s taste buds to the point it nullifies the sense of taste
11. Vertigo
12. ‘Butterflies in belly’ sensation that irregularly crawls up and down between the belly and head (Related to #11)
13. Constant sweaty palms (especially left palm)
14. Deeper and heavier pounding of the heart, and also slightly increased heartbeat rate (the feeling of it pumping loads of blood at one go)
15. Sitting up straight/forward with shaking legs (related to #3 and #8)
16. Musking
17. Dehydration with dry lips (Related to #13)
18. Finger tip/fingernail biting (Related to #1)
19. Teasing headache
20. Increased libido

It doesn’t have to be all the 20 above. Sometimes it’s just 1-2, or maybe sometimes 45 symptoms. But bottom line is dudes who suddenly have that urge to go all “THIS IS SPARTA”, please use them testosterone-boost bonus periods to do things you won’t regret later. Know it, observe it, and master it. Then you can beat all those toastmasters anytime or even run for Prime Minister. Cheerios~