Very Normal Activity: Strange Things at the Sea

Fishermen's tales about the sea that they don't usually blog about

I've accumulated enough stories from uncles who go out to sea to fish as work or hobbies in the west coast of Sarawak. They have all these weird encounters at sea that they don't really talk about, maybe because they are more excited to show off and take shots with their big catch. As strange as they may sound these paranormal activities have their respective explanation. Below are the things they shared about what they encounter at the sea... at night:

1. Flying orbs

Brief Description: Flying lights
Horror: 1 (they're just lights)
Encounter: Occasional
Explanation: Aliens! Or simply Malaysian weather balloon...
Reaction: Just ignore

They hover in the horizon or just the distance from the fishermen. To confirm they are not seeing stars from a rocking boat, these orbs fly in formation harmlessly from point A to point B where they usually just vanish. Sounds like the very orbs the members of TAPS keep talking and documenting about. A variation of the encounter includes that those orbs if close enough are actually eyes (for orbs that come in pairs) that fly around the fishermen. Watching them until they got bored.


2. Giant Legs
Brief Description: A pair of gigantass legs
Horror: 5 (i don't wanna get stepped on bro!)
Encounter: Rare
Explanation: Sea illusion. Malaysian weather balloon
Reaction: Go back to sleep

So you wake up and decided to go out of the cabin to pee into the sea. Then you see your boat under between 2 gigantic legs. Each footing into the sea to your left and right. You can't see the rest of the body because of its massive height above you. You took a leak and went back to sleep. Though I did forget to ask what gender the leg was...


3. Flying Heads
Brief Description: Flying Heads
Horror: 10 (mother truckers they're flying heads!)
Encounter: Occasional
Explanation: Malaysian weather balloon
Reaction: Run! Abandon hooks! Drive the boat away!

Flying heads at the sea in the middle of the night? Enough said. Could be mistaken for flying orbs at first but when they start flying closer towards the boat, the sight of an incoming flying head would scare the sheet out of anyone. Unlike the game DOOM those fishermen were not armed with futuristic laser rifles to blast those flying heads back to Hell, so they pulled anchor and fled.


4. The Bull-Snorting Swimming Baby
Brief Description: A baby snorting like a bull, swimming towards you
Horror: 10 (refer Brief Description)
Encounter: Rare
Explanation: Malaysian weather balloon
Reaction: Abandon hooks! Steer the boat into neighboring waters

This is really random. You're sitting there at night with your mates fishing. Then you heard a splash nearby. You thought something fell into the water. When you guys check at the direction of the splash, you see a baby swimming towards you. The baby's snorting angrily like a bull. Run.

Breaking the Boyfriend's Code

In case of a break-up, break glass heart

After seeing another 3 friends getting burned last month alone, I've decided to speak up a little bit. I got burned myself for the 6th time many moons ago so I believe I have the credibility to expose some of the dude's code in a relationship. Below is the boyfriend's side of story in case of a break up.



#1. It's okay I'm alright
When couples break up, many assume the girl would take the most emotional damage and the boy would be okay as he is a tough man. FALSE.

The Bad News: For the dudes who were serious about the relationship and had worked hard for their future, a break up from the girlfriend's side is devastating. Many girls would simply cut their hair or post emotional songs or posts online. For dudes, emotionally they'll be scarred but they just won't cry about it. All the emotion manifest itself into drastic physical changes. Hairstyle change, purchase of random items, body mass fluctuation, change of habits. Or worse turning homo. The most obvious thing for one to spot is the absence of smile. No dude smiles after such emotional holocaust, and they'll only smile when near other close mates or if being forced to. A shadow of doubt have been cast onto him when he's near his ex or other non-friend females.

The Good News: This phase only last a few days to a few months with or without support. (depending on your playboyility) Gradually he will move on from checking out other girls, to stalking Facebook profiles, to going out to clubs etc. until he eventually meet a new one.

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#2. FML
An elaboration for #1, whereby the dude goes through the after break-up phase. This is the critical phase where the dude is the most vulnerable and susceptible to anything. Usually applies in situations where the girl initiates the break-up, detrimental relationship from both parties, or a mistake from the dude that leads to the break up.

The Bad News: Although short-lived, this phase of after break-ups is the worst for any dudes in his life. He tends to phuck up everything he was doing and thinks he's a failure, loser, an ass, don't give a damn, you name it. It is an indescribable feeling that only those who had experienced it will understand. The best I can describe is the man had his very existence broken down to his foundation of what he had worked and believed all these years. Full support from family and friends are required as the dude may attempt to do stupid things. During this phase too friends should advise the dude to stay off any girls as they will only be his rebound girl.

The Good News: Just like #1 this phase is short lived.

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#3. That's not my ex, that's my mistake
In worse case scenario when it is the female's side who triggered the break up, the sentence "let's just be friends" is meaningless to the boyfriend.

The Bad News: Any decent dudes with pride and face would never accept such insult to injury. The feeling of being toyed, used or fooled into false hope will turn trigger his soul to see the thing he loved into something he despised the most. Then the term "friends" will further give false hope to the dude to get back to her. Many will go into shock and try to get the relationship going. After a while the dude will realize he deserves a better life than begging forever. His brain would simply shut out any memories that will sadden the heart to allow the dude to move on with life. In certain cases the ex-girlfriend is non-existent.

The Good News: Time will heal. After months or years of needed desolation from the ex, the dude's brains usually almost deleted all the memories by then, allowing him to say "I was an ass, let's be friends again". By then both parties should have a new partner and all's good.

==================================================================

#4 Rebound Girl
The new void created from the absence of a loved one needs to be filled, fast, no matter what the cost.
The Bad News: Shortly after a break up a dude needs all the console he can get. Sometimes his female friends will give the best consoles as the dudes just suck at comforting another dude. This is when the dude will slowly grow attached to the girl and his heart says he needs her. She has become his rebound girl. This is dangerous as there is a high chance that the rebound girl will find out she was just substituting his ex-girlfriend's spot, which is creepy. The ensuing breakup will only devastate the dude more and he'll simply lose the will to live. GG.

The Good News: Many relationships involving rebound boy/girlfriends do work. Although the max I've seen was only 5 years. But I do believe somewhere out there a rebound relationship did work till marriage though you are betting on maybe, 10% success.

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#5 Burn Baby Burn
I'll never fall in love again...

The Bad News: Some dudes may have gotten their first burn, others their 10th, 50th, 100th burn. Anyways, after a certain n number of burns the dude will simply say enough is enough. He'll never seek love anymore and indulge himself with whatever he has left. Like what Taio said "I wanna celebrate and live my life"... so you can kiss your love life goodbye. Friends and families, support his celibacy to encourage him to live on and be successful in life.

The Good News: Whenever a dude says it, somehow he'll end up with a new partner eventually. It's like a touch wood thing, except those sentences attract good things.

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#6 If I Can't Have You No One Can!
This is the scariest, most evil intent a boyfriend's heart can create.

The Bad News: After the break up, if the boyfriend is not begging or done doing so he will resort to the next stage; revenge. This is when he will come up with many things to destroy his ex-girlfriend's life literally, metaphorically or both. Spreading bad rumors about the ex, blocking her access to you or your friends, etc are the few things a man is capable of doing. He will continue to do so until he sees her destruction with his own eyes.

The Good News: Usually happens to those new to relationships. The veterans will be matured enough to not do such things. Plus after seeing how he had destroyed his ex-girlfriend's life, he will have this guilty feeling and feel sorry for her.


Anywho give the dude some time to mourn, recover and then get back on his feet after a break up. Bros over hos code should be observed by close brothers of the dude to encourage him to get back into the game. Or not. People get burned sometimes and it is these burns that will shape and show you the exact partner that suits you. And hey, it's not so bad being single. Welcome back to the sea my friend. Once you sober up I hope you'll be swimming in it again. Cheer cheers~

Fly the Malaysian Air

Foreigners' Guide to the Malaysian Air Travel Culture

First time travelling into Malaysia? Or a Malaysian that's going to use the airplane for the first time? Then let me share with you an air travel culture that's uniquely Malaysia :)

Only in Malaysia (most parts) will you see passengers getting out of their seats, opening and claiming their luggage from the overhead compartment, or ready to jump off the plane when the captain announces the aircraft's arrival (not fully landed). It is a 'herd-effect' whereby when more than 50% of the passengers stand up to claim their luggage and the remaining 49% will follow suit. However there is a minority of 1% that's willing to avoid the long queue of waiting for the aircraft door to open by sitting at their seats for the whole process.

When this happens you could either choose to join the 99% passengers in the queue or the 1% sitting minority. Both are enjoyable traveling experiences. If you are curious on what this culture is called, it is known as kiasuism (key-ah-sue-ism) with practitioners called as kiasu (key-ah-sue). It is advisable for you to point out at the 99% and say "hey, you are kiasu!"

Then when you reach the terminal prior to luggage claim, toilets are readily available after a few minutes of walking along the terminal inclusive of stairs and/or escalators. Bring extra tissues as the toilet rolls at the toilets are on high demand everyday so supplies are limited. And when you are doing your business enjoy the advertisement posted at the doors which may provide useful contacts during your stay.

Let me translate for you "No. 1 liar in Sarikei and Sibu * Mr Lau"

I'm 22

But aunties keep thinking I'm 18

First off, thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. I am satisfied with my previous 1 year experience myself though I got burned for the 6th time in a relationship mid year through. Apart from that I'd no regrets on the successes and milestones I've achieved for future propaganda.

My staff makes my singularity a regular jest in the workplace, occasionally promoting me to customers while stressing my singularity, jokingly of course. (If you happen to read this, thanks for the party at the office ya haha). However this is not the point. The interesting point is that as the joke develops, 100% of the female clients assumed I'm 18. FTW? I'm both offended and pleased(?) that I look 4 years younger(?). (see see see, I'm cute AND young haha take that Amie!)

I knew my age and newbie status into the brutal Sarawakian business environment was expected to bring hostility. People tend to look down upon noobs. And in less than 2 months meeting clients I got toyed around by 2 SMEs because they thought I was a joke. Mother truckers don't know who they're dealing with. No body was found floating in the river as a repercussion thankfully.

Anywho I think the first edict I'm going to roll for my 22nd year is an image change. Will post some narcissist pictures on Facebook once done. Hopefully that will make me look as old as I am (funny yes, because many try to look young).

Owh and as tradition dictates, I got myself a present too. A set of Altec Lansing to put some bass in my barren home sound system. However this is a small sleepy village I'm living in so I can only set the volume up to 20% to avoid public bass pollution. I need to sound proof my room... well, I'm only '18' and the nite is still young. Let's partaayyy!!!

Graduation

I'm a grad mother truckers!

After my short trip to Miri I set off to my next point of pilgrimage: Perth. This one was for my graduation. Looking back from my noob years as a fresh blood foundation kid to the day I finally got up that graduation stage, I've seriously come a long way.

What's next? As few more comrades fight on to fight the war, I'll be stepping out of it gracefully to wage another war that will ultimately decide the fate of the Motherland. I'll be waiting for you guys at the other side and will continue to believe that we can still revolutionize the country by hook or by crook.

I'd like to personally send my infinite thanks to Boss and Big Boss who were there for financial and moral support. My fellow comrades who were there with me during our fights on or off screen. My fellow kamchengz from 5008, 3666, Senadin, Vickery and the Lawson Street gangs who shared the same sheet different day with me. My S.O.B. familias especially the school of Management and Marketing. And finally Creator for providing spiritual solace and all the people I've mentioned earlier. *bows down* "domo arigato".

Exotic Animals, Money, Sarawak

Get lucky by throwing money at exotic turtles!

Literally "horny snapper turtle"

This one is located in a busy, musty and hot Niah restaurant, 1 hour south from Miri. There's a special section in the large restaurant for an assortment of captured exotic animals that are being displayed for the passing travelers. The notice at a tank below caught my attention:

This "Dragon King" would be an awesome addition to my Pokemon collection

Although bearing an awesome name and came all the way from a Holy Temple of I'm not sure exactly where, this Dragon King or Snapper Turtle (English name) don't look as excited as any celebrity should. I wanted to poke the thing but the whole tank is locked solid and the restaurant's toilet keeper at the back was looking at me suspiciously. He may not seem big from this angle but I can assure you he is 4 times the size of your desktop or laptop you have there. So what am I supposed to do with it? Make a wish? No problem let me throw in some cash...

WHAT A WHOPPER! This guy is making more money than I am (jobless student's income is always negative). So what you have to do is throw in some cash, make a wish and hope the King will grant it. Generally this sounds crude, but I saw some requests hand-written from an orphanage seeking money. I'm not sure if their wishes have been granted but the turtle must have some awesome telekinetic money-raking prowess to make him credible enough to earn this much. Anything goes here in Sarawak.

Alright people. Grab your cash, make a wish and throw it at the turtles below. If the cash gets stuck at the screen your wish may come true, if it flies off well, try another wish.

The Dragon King's less intimidating but happier cousins in another tank. Throw some money at them.

Selamat Hari Raya

End of Ramadhan already? What it's year 1431H already?

Man time flies faster and faster as you get older and older. I anticipated it, and yes it felt like yesterday when I said "Day 1" on Facebook. Oh well.

Salam Eid Mubarak to all. Maaf zahir batin. I know I may have offended you in anyway, being an ass in front of you somehow or simply forgot to reply your SMS and Facebook comments. So forgive this dude for all the mistakes, and slap him in the face the next time he does a mistake.

P/S: Sibu line pathetically slow again somehow after the quake in NZ (hmmm), thus it turned me off from giving updates. I forgive you zahir-ly TMNet.

Dam You

Bakun: Decade of Damnation

Remember Empangan Bakun? The very big dam that's supposed to power Sarawak's development? The first time you heard it should be from Kajian Tempatan textbook from Primary 4 or 5 (forgot already). Well for me I've read that book more than a decade ago. 10 years later Bakun is still a project overdue many times and used as the same school textbook reference of what Sarawak can offer, as well as the occasional cause for the displaced natives to be pissed about.

Still pissed. And confused.

Then recently Borneo Post stated that the Federal government pulled out from purchasing the dam for RM8,000,000,000 due to financial crisis (another story). So now the Sarawak state government can move in to buy it for RM6,000,000,000.

RM6bil is okay for this epic functional dam. Oh wait, this is 3 Gorges Dam. Completed earlier than Bakun. (Source)

RM6bil is a lot of cash. It will do good for Sarawak as the mega hydroelectric power will fuel Sarawak's Corridor of Renewable Energy (SCORE) projects. BUT I will side with the political pundits this time.

WHY THE PHUOC DO WE NEED TO SPEND RM6,000,000,000 ON AN UNCONFIRMED-CAN-BE-FINISHED DAM? RM6bil could've been used on finishing many much-needed roads in Sarawak. Shock absorbers ain't cheap dammit!

And let's not forget about how cursed Bakun is. The Coxsakie outbreak that coincided with the dam's relaunch in 1997. The leptospirosis (rat fever, kencing tikus, Mickey's bane) at Bakun as well barely a month ago. And also rumors of black magic and other wrath incurred by the pissed off locals to stop the desecration of their ancestral lands (imagine Avatar, minus the blues).

Flaming online works too I guess...

The money that's apparently spent on the 2,400MW dam is never enough to complete it after a decade. It's like a black hole. No matter how much paper money you throw at the dam the Google images will show the same pictures of it 5-7 years, showing that the contractors do not have built-in cameras on their phones.

Apa ni?

I won't bash much as I'm respecting the month of Ramadhan. The rest of the things about Bakun are common knowledge based on how the government roll. And here's more readings on why you should be worried if you are a taxpayer.

Owh did I mention the government wants to make another 2 new dams? Damn, just think about all those new black holes, more displaced natives and superior government planning for energy supply enough for maybe 1/2 of China (not sure, I'm no Civil Engineer). We need transparent public spending report dammit!

Aggressive Biscuits

First there's Oreo. Then there's Cream-O. Now there's Bis-O.

I haven't tried Bis-O due to it's shabbiness though, obviously. The hilarity in this imitation wars is further enhanced by the latter's pronunciation which is close to bisul... what's next?

Tension With Indonesia Again

Indonesian extremists threatened to 'sweep' Malaysians off Indonesia, again.

While Malaysia Barat is tearing themselves apart from the recent case of the racist principal telling Chinese kids to go back China, trouble is brewing with our neighbor to the south. Barely a year ago the Benteng Demokrasi Rakyat (BENDERA) announced that they will invade Malaysia to cause havoc with its 40 well-trained, bamboo-armed and black-magic-protected men.

And a few days ago, the action of Malaysia capturing 3 Indonesian maritime officers triggered another proxy war, with Indonesia 'silently' retaliating by arresting Malaysian fishermen. The whole thing snow balled into a crisis as protesters threw shit at the Malaysian embassy in Jakarta. The nationalist group BENDERA then declared another 'sweep' to kick off Malaysians allegedly violating Indonesia's sovereignty out of their country. It's officially the season to 'ganyang Malaysia' again.

Now at this point I share your blurness on what really pissed them off to the point of throwing human faeces at the embassy. This simple but crucial disclosure may reveal a bit why the tension between the two countries are on high again:

"...according to Malaysian officials, they received satellite photos that the 15 fishermen in five boats were indeed in Malaysian territory – their GPS clearly showed this. An Indonesian maritime boat which encroached into Tanjung Punggai in Kota Tinggi confronted the boats and arrested seven fishermen.

Good sense prevailed as Malaysia released the Indonesian maritime officers while Indonesia sent the fishermen home to Malaysia on Aug 17.

...the Indonesian government sent a diplomatic note to protest the arrest, claiming that Malaysia had violated Indonesian integrity because the incident occurred in Indonesian waters.

Indonesia’s Maritime and Fisheries Minister Fadel Muhammad said Indonesia freed the seven fishermen due to lack of proof...because he needs to pacify his countrymen to show that Indonesia is standing up to Malaysia (Kiasu la).

Malaysia has since quietly responded to the note and made it clear that the Indonesians had encroached into Malaysian waters"

Source: The Star

To summarize, there's a water border dispute between Indonesia and Malaysia. This dispute caused the clash of jurisdiction between the two countries who claimed the incident occurred in THEIR territory. BENDERA just jumped in to light up the fuels of war and all these protests came to be. What started as a hate-war accusing Malaysia of 'curi budaya' or stealing the culture of Indonesia last year is now made bigger with this recent events.

It all started with this...


Then this 'sapu Malaysia', roadbloacks to spot-check for Malaysians and ask them to GTFO...

mmm... she's hot

And we're supposed to fight with these BENDERA elites...


The Indonesian government does not endorse nor support these extremists' actions. BENDERA's October 8th 2009 invasion is way overdue by almost a year. And this fresh ganyang Malaysia thing is predicted to pass away with time. Malaysians in Indonesia should take care of themselves. If BENDERA's willing to grab shit and throw it with rage at the embassy, who knows what else they're capable of while ignoring all the don'ts during this Ramadhan.

Don't join in the fray, just be rational and let us get a move on with work, assignments, life etc.